| hello again |
[Mar. 16th, 2009|02:17 pm] |
I'm here because of a "remember when..." conversation about Xangas. But why not pick things up again?
It's spring breaaaaakkkk, and I don't really care too much. I don't have any extravagant plans, or very many un-extravagant plans, even. I'm just chillin at home. On my birthday, I just chilled. Baked cookies with Skyler, hung out with the usuals from high school, plus Andria, my lovely roommate.
I can feel the beginnings of myself getting out of sync. I can go long periods of time without feeling like i'm living in the moment that i'm experiencing, and it sucks because I don't feel whole emotions about the things that are happening around me. I'll feel part of it at the moment, and part of it either in a few weeks or never. It's like being in autopilot.
i don't know. I guess I just feel weird because I don't have anything to say to anybody.
Pledgeship just ended for a sorority that I joined, and maybe this is a result of a mass slowing down of my life. So much happened so quickly, and I was so out of my element with regard to the whole process, that maybe it just threw me for a loop and i'm in the process of realizing it's over and figuring out what all of last month was.
I love the friends that i've made at school. The only issue being that I have literally no guys that I feel like I could just call up and hang out with (at AC). No boyfriend, no boy/friend. Just a shit ton of estrogen, albeit witty and wonderful vessels of estrogen. It just makes me feel out of balance.
I'm going to be in New York in less than three weeks for Model UN. That's weird to say. I'm not ready, yet readier than a lot of the people from my school. Yikes
I keep getting bizarre physical ailments, and the nurse/doctors at my school just ask me "are you stressed?" when I go in about them. And I say "I guess." because there's enough going on in my life that it would make sense for me to be stressed, but very rarely do I think to myself, "wow, i'm really stressed!" In fact, I've been primarily happy with everything since this semester started. So that's weird (and very unpleasant).
End
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|07:45 pm] |
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today is the third day in a row that i've gotten sad and as a result taken a shower. at least i'm clean. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2007|07:55 pm] |
i'm wasteing so much time.
and princeton is coming up so fucking soon. and we don't have anything.
and i haven't done any fundraising or anything for debate and i barely practice, and i probably don't even deserve to go on the harvard trip this year, but probably will get to.
and things have definately been better.
and school is kicking my ass, and all i can really feel about it is apathetic.
i can't mr. magavern. i just can't.
i'm tired of things. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2007|09:21 am] |
so i was supposed to take the SAT today.
and i left my wallet at home. with my ID in it.
and so i couldn't take it.
and i hate my life and collegeboard and the SAT and stupid ladies who tell me that i can't take it but that i won't have to pay more than about 22 dollars to change the test date because they don't know what they're talking about, only to find that i hate collegeboard even more than i hate that lady, because not only can i not update my admission ticket, i have to start a new one and pay 22 extra dollars in late fees. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 11th, 2007|10:35 pm] |
so today i got tipped at work with a joke from this nice old man:
what do you call a cow that just had a baby?
decaffeinated.
so then this other man was purusing my vienn case, and i decided to share this treasure with him. and in response he shared his joke with me:
what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
a stick.
and i said "fair enough" and he thought that was funny because it illuminated the not-funny-ness of his only joke.
and then i told him my mushroom joke.
and then he said "here's a real tip" and gave me a dollar.
it made my night.
the fact that there are now two kinds of mountain dew slurpee flavorings made my day.
that plus lunch plus not making a fool out of myself when i was 98% sure that i had.
oh, life. |
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| soccer practice |
[Aug. 18th, 2007|11:27 am] |
"hey guys, whose new Escape is that? oh, wait, it's mine!"
collective "ha,ha!"
aly silent.
"so who watched High School Musical 2 last night?!"
collective hand raising and commentary
aly silent.
i just love it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2007|09:30 am] |
i got sunburnt pretty bad yesterday; as is expected for someone as pale as me who doesn't put on sunscreen and then hands out at a pool for three or four hours.
but that means that showers are kind of painful, and i know that i have to take one today because i'm about to go to a rally, and i don't want to start smelling before i even get there.
making friends is nice.
i'm slacking on the social action planning because calling people and making plans for things forever in advance is intimidating. :(
but i'll get it done.
i'm reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, which sounds like a little kids book. but it's not, and it's pretty good.
i find my habits of introversion blooming during the summer time, when all i really do is sit around and read all day.
i'm off to do other things now. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 27th, 2007|10:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pretty good; amost euphoric | ] |
| [ | music |
| | modest mouse (at the present, Spitting Venom) | ] |
i officially make pastries now. it's nice.
and i'm going to apply at a cake decorating shop as soon as i get something close to a portfolio assembled.
summer is going pretty nicely so far- if only it would continue to be this nice and rainy. not going to happen, though.
i'm reading Breakfast of Champions and it's pretty good. i find that Kurt Vonnegut is so easy to read that i don't really process or remember it in the right sequence when i look back at it; it's just a blob of amusing/funny/odd.
little motel by Modest Mouse is so pretty that it makes me sad. but i definately like it.
at the youth service at our church i wrote about the power and uses of manipulation, and it was a pretty awesome speech, though probably better as an essay, because that way you get more time to process things.
but this man walked up to me afterwards and talked to me about how he respected what i was doing with my "search for truth and meaning" so to speak, in how i would see both sides of things and delve into the things that people generally ignore. and he told me to be careful not to get stuck in a rut of negativity. it was interesting.
and my grandma told me that they were talking about me at choir practice because of my speech and then she does what she typically does and updates them on my accomplishments, and then they decided that i could be CEO of a company some day. which i doubt.
but things like that make me feel influential/powerful.
i have to reschedule my SAT date to go to OKC, which means i'll only be taking it once before i apply to colleges if i apply early. but i think i don't really care. it just makes me feel like i'm procrastinating. maybe i should do SAT prep now that i have all this extra time to do it, but i don't know if i will. it's almost like cheating.
i hate dealing with my dad lately. he's going crazy.
but yesterday i was talking to David bradshaw at my kitchen table and i commented on how i was in the kind of mood to do what we used to do when i was little, and get candy and go watch a movie, but our family doesn't really act like that anymore, and my dad's not one to do things like that anymore, and he overheard me, and apparently liked the idea (or maybe he was just trying to prove a point) and we went to go see 300 at the dollar movies. it was strange. but that's how i feel on rainy days when i have no friends to hang out with (except david bradshaw of course) and nowhere to go.
i was so scared of my pre-cal finals score, because i wasn't sure about roughly 1/4 of my answers, but then i got an 82, and i felt bad because jon was in the same boat i was in, and he did worse than i did and it made it seem like i was making a big deal out of nothing and made him feel bad. whoops.
i'm going to go play now. |
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| the usual |
[Apr. 14th, 2007|12:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | i don't know | ] |
| [ | music |
| | wolf parade is floating around my head | ] |
my job is pretty nice. but LaMadeline is dirtier and nastier than it lets on to be. but i get to bring home tasty pastries and bread, so that's nice. one manager is a dick, and i can't even count how many times i heard my co-workers remarking on the fact. the other two are really nice.
today i was coughy and sickly and miserable. hopefully tomorrow will be physically better for me.
i'm sick of school for a while. and i realize that i do too many things.
and it's past my bedtime.
Aly |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2007|09:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | in-between | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ted leo | ] |
i've decided not to do my history paper rough draft this fine night.
and i lost one of those yellow graphing calculators that belong to the school that will cost me over $100. and it was due back last thursday. i always do this.
and i got a job at LaMadeleine(s). and my sister did too; i don't know how happy i am about that part.
i slept from 1 to 5 today. and if i hadn't, maybe the history paper would have gotten done.. i always feel like i've wasted so much time when i do that.
and i saw Ted Leo + the pharmacists, and it was pretty amazing. he's a cool guy. and then the next day i worked from 9-5, and it was so busy that we didn't have enough dishes and i had to give people their soup in take out containers. and it was jon's birthday, and i gave him a Silversun Pickups record, and a ticket to see Modest Mouse next month. pretty good, i'd say. and then we went to see Guster with his family, and they also were quite amazing. both bands were pretty good stage-talkers. hence me being so exhausted and sleeping through half the day.
sometimes i get really tired of listening to my family's conversations.
and there's this article called "how to raise money-smart kids" taped to the wall in the kitchen, and i decidedly left a sticky note on it (because my family speaks to each other in iritated notes pretty often) that said such a task might be easier if the parents themselves were money-smart. i think maybe that was kind of mean, but a point well made.
so that's life.
-Aly |
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